I might be depressed.
I really thought I had been handling my holiday losses pretty well, after losing my job, and my Mom in an eight day stretch, from December 22, 2008 to January 2nd, 2009. And then, we postponed our February 14th wedding.
But I think I had a breakthrough last week, that may have pushed me out of the Denial I was in denial about feeling, and straight into a brief episode of Anger. Not a violent, raging anger, but more of a pouty, "Take my ball, and go home" anger.
I'm not really sure how the Bargaining phase works, but I've probably been there.
And now a triple whammy of Life is revealing the truths of reality, guilt, and insecurities, and these truths have rendered me a bit wobbly. And I may be depressed. Not desperately, or clinically depressed, but certainly sluggish.
But the good news is that I have identified this in myself, and I recognize that I must create positive activity for myself, and re-energize myself through positive and productive behaviors.
I suppose that one positive behavior would be to not stay up until 1:00am, and sleep in until 9:00am, even if the sleep math adds up to 8 hours. So I'm going to go to bed, and pray in thankfulness for all my blessings, and the promise and expectations of a new day.
3 comments:
I know something positive and productive you can do....we have to finish painting by Wednesday so that our new flooring can be delivered!! Evan will be at the house all day Mon-Weds!!!
Oh and I have a basement that needs finishing! :) Hey, Autumn can't have you all to herself ;-P
We love you, Jay! and don't forget Jacobs request for Grandpa Jay and Grandma Debbie to come and read to him and put him to bed.
There's tons to do at my house too!
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