Mom moment

It happened again.

Debbie and I went to the 9am church service yesterday,
and when we ended our service singing "How Great Thou Art",
I started thinking about Mom, and I had a good cry.

After the service, I tried to gather myself, and figure out
what triggered that, and Debbie said she had welled up as
soon as she realized the song, which we sang at Mom's funeral service.
I started crying again, and then a couple stopped by and asked if
they could pray with us, and it turned into a whole thing.

I knew the guy from a men's group I attended there recently, and
when I could talk, I tried to explain that I was just having a "Mom moment".
We talked for a bit, and they invited us to their couple's Bible study.
Not sure we can fit that in at the moment, but it was nice of them.

Two things I learned at church today today:

1. When you cry at the end of the church service, concerned persons
will come to your side and lay hands on you.
(That's a God thing)

2. Little (or big) things still make me think of, and cry about Mom.
(That's a Mom thing....and maybe a God thing, too)

I guess I'm ok with both those things.

text

I was really hoping to get my hair cut today.

I had an entire Thursday off, and though I don't exactly have the nine inches of hair needed to donate my ponytail to Locks of Love (click for link), the edges of the bowl are getting a little ragged, so I called my niece this morning to see if she could fit me into her schedule. My niece is a twenty-five year old single mom, working full-time as a professional salon stylist, as she works hard to raise my nearly two year old nephew. Or is it my grand-nephew? How does that work again?

So I sent her a text from my cell phone this morning and asked if she was working. She seems to have a history of changing phones, so I included "from Uncle Jay" in my text, in case she didn't recognize my number, which has happened in the past. The response I got threw me a little bit. The reply said she was on her honeymoon until Tuesday.

I stared at my phone for a full minute, and tried to process this information. My niece, by her own admission, hasn't been in a relationship for some time now, so the idea of a honeymoon seemed unlikely, or even a secret elopement. I decided that, surely, she must be making a joke, so I replied back, "Honeymoon?", and continued on a confusing exchange.

"Yeah, that trip you go on after you get married! LOL"

"Married?!?"

"Uh, yeah!"
(long pause from me...)
"Ok, I'm very confused. I was just hoping to get my hair cut by my lovely niece."

"Well, I've never cut hair, but I could try."
(another long pause by a further confused me, until she replied again...)
"I just got this phone a month ago, and I don't have an Uncle Jay. Who is this?"

This is when I finally remembered that my niece had told me last time she cut my hair that she had a new cell number, but I had been too busy to write it down, or put it into my phone.
I sent one last text to "random texting honeymoon girl", explaining that I had an old number,
and that I was sorry for bothering her. She didn't seem too bothered.

After all, she spent 20 minutes texting me from her honeymoon.

I called my sister later and told her the story, and she didn't seem too happy with the idea of a surprise wedding by her daughter, and I had to remind her that it wasn't actually her.

As I thought about it later, it occurred to me that this sort of textual confusion could quite easily become embarrassing, if one thought they were texting a loved on, only to find out that they had been hitting the wrong contact. Perhaps even worse, if that contact was actually known to you.

Fortunately, I had only been in search of an honest haircut, so I managed to hang up with my dignity intact. Unfortunately, I never did connect with my niece, so I never got that haircut. Funny thing though.....when I finally got her new number, her voice mail said that she was out of town for a few days.

Wait a minute......

.

Can I help you?

I'm a little over a month into my new job/career as a manager (trainee) at Menards, and I continue to learn something new, not just every day, but with every guest interaction I have, as I walk the hard concrete aisles of the # 3 U.S. home improvement retailer.

At first, it felt a little odd approaching store guests, and asking if I could help them, while my inside voice was pointing out that I most likely would not have the answers they sought. But I have fearlessly walked into these interactions, confident that I could either find the answer, or find someone else who did know, and could actually help.

Retail is a funny dance for the customer, and the customer service associate. I know from my own personal shopping experience, that I'm uncomfortable being "pounced on" too soon in a retail environment. But as soon as I have questions, I get really frustrated if I can't find help.

As a perfect example, I've been shopping for a particular shoe to buy, and wear at work, and I was in the Mounds Mall yesterday, where The Finish Line shoe store might have carried the shoe. As I approached the store, I could see that the only person in the store was in uniform. I really just wanted to stroll in, take a quick look at the selection, consider my options, and walk out when I was done. I almost didn't go into the store, because I didn't want to deal with the salesperson.
It's nothing personal. I'm weird, and I have this unfounded sense of guilt when I leave a store without a purchase, as if the bottom line financial fate of that business depends on me contributing a sale. Earlier this summer, I browsed a new used book store that seemed starved for business, and I bought two paperback books I didn't need, because I felt bad if I didn't support them. I had envisioned the owners' slumped shouldered, frustrated look of desperation, if I walked in and out of their business without a purchase, especially after I had engaged them in conversation about how a small business was surviving in a tough economy.

I guess I got too emotionally invested. I never have this feeling when the store is busy, and I avoid customer service interaction. There have been times that I've actually waited until another customer went into a store, before I entered. Is this a case of extreme, but misplaced empathy for the business owner, or just the fellow worker? But I'd rather have this attitude, than the rude, dismissive, "It's their job" attitude toward sales people that my ex-wife used to unleash on hard working associates, left standing outside the dressing room with an armload of unpurchased garments, and a look of deflated exasperation.

But I digress.....

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the retail dance.....I noticed early on at Menards that I would often initiate and offer assistance to customers, who were very quick to give me the "no thanks, just looking" gesture, but then, within minutes, they would seek me out with questions, and we would ultimately work together for a resolution to their search. Maybe it's a control thing. Customers hate to get sold to, so they would rather have a sense of controlling the conversation, especially at the outset.

These interactions have been especially interesting as I continue to learn and navigate a new world of information and wisdom. Some wise customers know exactly what they want, and I just have to translate their request, and find their item in the store. Others have an idea of what they need, but do not have the language or wisdom to paint the picture, and that is a different translation altogether, especially as I am just learning the language myself.

But in all instances, I am quick to let my guest know that I may be new in this department, but I will not leave them until I have either found their answer, or I have handed them off to someone who can better serve them. I am constantly amazed at how understanding and patient people are, when you are vulnerable about your wisdom, yet willing to help. More often than I can count, a guest I have helped has commented that, "Now we both learned something new today."

Wisdom comes from experience, and it grows with every interaction.

Maybe I am more wise than I realize....