lawn boy

I am NOT a lawnmower killer.

Toward the end of last summer, I was attempting to clean Dad's push mower after a dusty 75 minute cardio-burning, grass session.
I don't know why I decided to use the garden hose for the first time, but the next time I used
the mower, it ran like there was water in the gas line, or somewhere it should not have been.
Later, the lawnmower shop guy absolved me of my guilt, when he told me that something entirely different was broken, and parts and repairs would be more than a new mower.
So we finished the summer on Dad's John Deere rider.
Up until the flat tire.

Dad jacked up the Deere, removed the tire, and I had the tire guy downtown fix it.
After Dad reinstalled the tire, I fired the rider up for one last pre-fall mow and mulch.
We couldn't get the transmission to engage, and the John Deere sat dormant in the garage
until this Spring, when Dad called his friend Tom, who said he had a guy, and we called his guy,
who came and took it to his shop to look at the tranny, and give it a good Spring tune up.

When he brought it back, he told me that it had only been missing a small metal bar-like
key, that engaged the transmission, but must've fallen out in the garage or the yard.
He had replaced the missing key, and the rider was working fine.
I took three steps toward the driveway, and picked up a rusted piece of metal I'd spotted on the floor just the day before. "That would be the piece you were missing", he said.

I suppose we could have survived with just the riding mower, but I really prefer to push,
at least while I'm still able. I enjoy the exercise, and I think it goes quicker.
So Dad went to Sears and bought a new Craftsman mulching push mower, very similar to
the one we'd had before. The second time I used it, I pulled the rope completely out of....
well, wherever the rope goes when it's wound up inside the mower.
I took it back to Sears.

I was informed that they could not fix it on-site, but would need to send it to Cincinnati, but
we could just get a new one on exchange that day. I took a new one home.

On the first attempt with the new mower, I pulled the rope completely out again.

Now I've been going to the gym with Debbie recently, but I've really only done cardio on the bike and the treadmill, and I am probably in the worst shape of my life. So I refused to accept that I
was out-muscling the mower, as I pulled the ripcord.
So I took it back to Sears.

I was once again told of the Cincinnati option, and the salesperson was a little surprised that I
still wanted to stay with this model of Craftsman mower, despite the obvious model defect.
I noticed another customer browsing the lawnmowers, and I told him that the model he was looking at was the one I was trying to successfully introduce onto my lawn environment,
and it was a good model, as long as you didn't pull the cord out.

Meanwhile, my sales guy processed an exchange for me, and I went back to Merchandise Pickup to....well, you know, pick up my merchandise. After a brief wait, I was told that they were out of stock on that particular mower, but they did have a display model available. I said that was fine, and we walked out onto the sales floor just in time to see the customer I had talked to, paying for the display model of my mower.

Ten days, and two rider circuits later, I finally had a third Craftsman mulching push mower in the garage, and I was more than a little anxious as I pushed it into the driveway to attempt a start.
As Dad watched from the shade of the garage, I very gingerly gave it a gentle, twelve inch pull, and was relieved to see that the mower started, and the rope settled back into it's circular home.

We're nearly two months into the lawn mowing season, and since we brought home the third
Craftsman mower, I haven't had any problems with the rope, and I've actually turned it into a game to see how slightly I can pull the rope, and still start the mower. It doesn't take much.

Now, if all that weren't enough, I thought I killed Debbie's old mower a few weeks ago.
On her mower, the rope is permanently pulled to it's max, and you have to reach underneath
and twist the blade to rewind the cord, before you can attempt to start it. I'm not nearly as comfortable with the idea of sticking my hand under the mower to twist the blade as Debbie is,
so I tilted her mower on it's side, and used a stick to turn the blade.
It took awhile for all the black oil to leak out onto the mower deck, but it was obvious early on
that the 90*, on it's side tilt hadn't been a good idea, and after using three old rag socks to soak up the spilled oil, and having no back-up small engine oil, I abandoned the job with the middle half her back yard left higher than the rest. Sort of a mow-hawk. sorry....so bad.

Fortunately, when I was able to add new oil, and keep her mower upright, it worked fine, and I was once again absolved of lawnmower battery.

Debbie's brother John has a bit of farmland and horse pastures, and he is always looking for thrill-seeking city folk wishing to drive his tractor for fun, but who can actually be Tom Sawyer'd
into cutting down his expansive fields. As thrilling as that sounds, I'm afraid of what mechanical distress I might bring to a large International/Case tractor, with the six foot mowing deck.

I wonder if I could take that back to Sears?